Kannao: Long Time Coming

Title: Long Time Coming
Pairing: KanjixNaoto of Persona 4
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of the characters or places in my story as they belong to Atlus. I do not make any money on my writing. This is strictly for fun and enjoyment.

After this many years, I can’t believe he still wants to go on a date. We’d lost touch for so long after he went away for school, I thought he may have forgotten me. But here I am, wearing a nice blue spring dress, waiting anxiously for him to arrive. That’s right, Naoto Shirogane is wearing a dress. The faster we move on from this fact, the faster I can hopefully forget and feel more comfortable. Why wear it at all? Well, I want to give him a nice surprise, I guess. Make the day more special. Honestly, despite that I’m still wondering if I should change since we agreed to go on a picnic. I’m afraid my choice of attire is poor for such a thing. But it’ll be kind of cute to sit sidesaddle on a quilt in the park on a dress. Very 1950’s. Perhaps I’ve read too many old-fashioned detective novels where that happens. The sleuth takes time with his family and goes to the park, children playing on the swings while he and his domesticated wife sit nearby on a blanket and watch, divvying up the homemade potato salad and sandwiches for lunch. I never cared much for those parts when I was younger. Not enough crime-solving action. I’ve grown to appreciate them now though.

Oops! Must’ve let my mind wander for awhile. I hear an engine outside. An awfully loud one at that. He must have a truck or something. I should rush to the door to greet my date. Wow, date. That’s going to take some getting used to.

After opening the door I look toward the driveway, smiling at the man strolling towards me. “Kanji!” My voice just squeaked, I think. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. All that matter is that he’s here. He’s on my property and here for me.

Kanji Tatsumi has definitely grown these past few years. It looks as if he’s a few inches taller and he’s become much broader in the shoulders. The platinum blond hair has given way to his natural jet black coloring; a better look in my opinion. I see more piercings in his ears as well. The leather jacket along with everything else would have made him look threatening, but his ear-to-ear grin has destroyed any chance he had of scaring anyone. Though I’m sure that wasn’t his goal anyway.

“Naoto! How are ya!?” He stops in his tracks. Guess he’s noticed my choice of attire. And judging by the tinting on his cheeks, he likes what he sees. (I now know what the reddening signifies, though it took a sit down with Rise after Kanji had gone away for me to understand it).

A faint nervous giggle shakes from my chest. I can feel myself blushing as well. “I’m doing well, thank you”. He’s still frozen. Looks lie he hasn’t changed too terribly much since we’d last seen each other. (I think he wanted to kiss me goodbye that day on the train platform, looking back now. We settled for a hug and attempted to say what we wanted but failed. Depressing, isn’t it?) I should probably snap him out of his stupor before we lose anymore time making up for that which we lost. “Are you alright, Kanji-kun?”

“Huh, what? Yeah! Just…surprised. You look…amazing”. His mouth pulls back in a dreamy smile. He’s so handsome. “How about a little spin for me?” he asks, approaching closer and taking my hand in his. A spin? For a moment I’m shocked he’s done such a 180-flip in demeanor. Perhaps he has changed more than I thought. But still, a spin. This should illicit an interesting response. A quick little twirl fans out the hem on my dress, exposing a bit more of my legs. I face forward again. Curiously Kanji’s eyes try to peer around to my back. “It’s so long,” he marvels under his breath.

Guess he noticed my hair.

“Oh! Yes. Took the time you were gone to grow it this length. Do you…not like it?” Oh God I hope he likes it. The anxiety actually makes me play with the ends of my hair, the dark blue follicles twisting around my fingers.

“Of course I do! It looks great”. There’s calm reassurance in his voice. Calm. Kanji Tatsumi is calm. Wow.

“And it seems like I’m not the only one whose had a change of hair,” I smile, admiring the dark locks that have replaced the bleach blond ones of our yesteryears.

“Oh, yeah. Felt like if I’m gonna be an adult I should probably quit bleaching. I don’t look too weird, do I?” he asks shyly.

“You don’t look weird at all, Kanji-kun. Matter of fact, I really like it this way. It suits you,” I confess, furthering my point by reaching up and touching his hair. Bold of me, I know, but something in my gut told me that he wouldn’t mind. He blushes again, and wraps his hand around mine. We stand still for a moment, looking at each other, smiling. Suddenly it hits us both that it must look strange. My hand retracts to my side, as does his. Our eyes avert to the ground, then we slowly look up at each other again. Nervous giggles take over for a moment, then they turn to silly laughter. It looks like we both still have at least a bit more growing up to do before we can handle fond touches. (I can hear Yosuke-senpai’s sophomoric chuckling in my head. Ugh).

“Well how about we get going? Don’t wanna lose time on our,” he swallows, “d-date”. I can see him trying to keep his grin from stretching ear to ear. Funny thing is, so am I.

“Then let’s go. Just give me a moment to gather my things,” I ask before hurrying back into the house to grab my bag and keys. When I finish locking up the house, I start to scan the area for his vehicle. What I find is unexpected to say the very least. “Did you…ride a motorcycle here?”

His hand reaches behind his head, scratching idly through black hairs. “Yeah, bet ya didn’t see that one coming, huh? It’s cool though. I only ride it during the day. Wouldn’t want to keep anybody up at night or I’d have to kick my own ass”. His laugh is hearty. I manage a light chuckle but I’m still staring at the bi-wheeled potential death trap parked in my driveway. He can’t be expecting me to…

“You alright, Naoto? You aren’t scared, are you?”

“No! Not at all!”

Not scared. Terrified. Terrified more correctly conveys my emotions.

“Well, if you’re worried, don’t be. I’m a good rider”. He leans down a bit, face closer to mine. “You’re safe with me, Naoto-chan”.

The fear dies down. My cheeks are hot again. Did my heart just skip a beat? All he had to do was get close and say my name like that? Either I’m more pent up than I believed or I’m more emotionally drawn to him than I realized.

Regardless, the promise for my safety gives me the courage to take the helmet he’s produced from the bike’s pouch. Won’t lie, I’m mortified to strap my head into the hollowed-out head wear and climb onto the back of the black, roaring machine, but Kanji says it’ll be alright. And I know he’ll keep me safe.

When the hell did I become such a girl? I blame the dress.

“C’mon and climb on behind me”. He sounds excited to have me as a passenger. But his fervor does little to persuade me onto the device. “My Ma rides with me all the time if it makes you feel any better. That’s her helmet”.

Mrs. Tatsumi? On a motorcycle? That I must see. An image runs through my mind of Kanji with his mother behind him on the bike, serene smile on her face that I’ve always seen and the helmet in my hands on her head. If she can do it, so can I. “Your mother rides with you?” I ask while I pull the helmet down over my hair. It’s surprisingly comfortable albeit how heavy it is. Hopefully weight is in direct correspondence with how much
protection it gives.

There’s that laugh again, full and boisterous. “I know. I’m still having a hard time believing it myself”. He offers his hand. “Let me help you on”. Good thing he assisted me. I’m clueless about how to get onto these things properly and the additional obstacles of a dress and wedge heeled sandals doesn’t help much. (Yes, wedge sandals. Rise insisted that my legs would look better, I’d be more statuesque, and anything I had would look ridiculous with the dress. So I took her advice.) Eventually I manage to struggle onto the bike, unladylike. There was no other way to really go about it and riding side-saddle was not going to happen. I’m having enough issues adjusting. Thankfully Kanji was a gentleman and didn’t try peeking at me as I swung my leg over the bike. Before long there was a roar of an engine and we were on the road.
_______________________________________________________
(((Kanji’s POV)))
Holy crap.

She’s hanging onto me. Naoto is hanging onto me. I can’t freaking believe it. I better not be dreaming. I swear if I’m dreaming I’m going to flip my bed.

Though it’d be much more believable if this was all a dream. I mean, seriously; I’m on a date with my dream girl who said yes knowing it was me, she’s wearing a dress and she’s hanging onto me while we ride on my motorcycle to the river to go on a picnic.

Shit, if I am dreaming, nobody wake me. Not even Ma.

I can feel her arms tighten around my ribs and her face pressed to my back through my jacket. That proves it. This is reality. Best reality I’ve seen so far too.

I’m still losing it over her dress. It’s so cute on her. Different shades of blue flowering around her body perfectly so it shows off her curves. Those curves. Waist, hips, that dress lets me see it all. Not to mention those legs. Man if I knew then what I know now I would’ve begged her to wear the girl’s uniform. Man I sound like Teddie or Yosuke, but can ya blame me? I am a guy after all. Curves. Curves like a damn road. Road. Road? Oh shit!

Note to self: don’t think about Naoto’s body while driving. Luckily I snapped out of it before anything had happened. Naoto seems like she’s doing alright. Thank God. I’d hate myself for a long time if I scared her after promising her everything would be okay.

Almost at the river. Gotta keep cool, at least on the outside. I know I ain’t capable of keeping calm in my head today. This date’s been years in the making and it’s finally happening. And I gotta tell her that. She should know how long I’ve wanted to take her out just me and her. I’m gonna tell her how long I’ve liked her.

Shit I’m scared.

But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
_______________________________________________________
(((Naoto’s POV)))
Finally I feel the bike stop. The constant roar of the engines dulls then finally ceases. My muscles feel like rocks they’re so tense. But I manage to gather enough sense to loosen my death grip from Kanji’s toned abdomen that I just happened to feel through his opened leather jacket.

V-Very toned. I should probably refrain from thinking about that. It’s just plain improper. Though it is human. Plus I’ve always felt inclined to believe that he’d be impressive. This was ruled as an absolute a few years ago during a hot springs incident. I definitely got an eyeful that day, but never had the opportunity or permission (or confidence for that matter) to feel the muscle for myself. And now that I have…

Stop that, Naoto. You can think about this later.

Yes.

Later.

My God I’ve been around Rise FAR too much.

Kanji helps me off the motorcycle, which I’m sure was amusing to say the least. Once my feet touch ground, I let out a sigh of relief then turn towards the venue for our date. Another smile stretches across my face. “Ah, Samegawa River. It’s been awhile”. I turn back to find Kanji gathering equipment of sorts from his saddlebag: namely a blanket and a few small baskets. The view of manly biker Kanji attempting to balance the large plaid blanket and multiple wicker baskets made a giggle shake my chest. Surely he doesn’t mean to carry everything himself? I am perfectly capable of helping him and he knows it. “Please let me help you. You went through the trouble of gathering everything including our lunch in the first place. The least I can do is help you carry it”.

For a moment, he seems to want to argue and opt to strong man the whole load by himself. But then he smiles softly. “Alright, but only if you just take the blanket.” His attempt at sounding authoritative is so amusing. “Besides, I was starting to worry that it’d wrap around my legs and I’d end up falling on our lunch and crushing it”.

“Fair enough. It is quite large,” I concede to his ultimatum. At least he’s willing to compromise with me. Taking the covering into my arms, I’m shocked by how light and soft it feels against my skin. Admittedly I find myself with the desire to nuzzle my face into the amazing fabric. “Kanji-kun, where did you get this blanket? It’s incredibly plush”.

Oddly enough, he blushes. “A-Actually, I made it”.

He made it. Well of course he made it, Naoto. Has it really been so long that I forgot about his favorite hobby? Oh jeez, I’m on a date. Relax. Have to get used to this. I’m not on trial, it’s a date. A date with Kanji. He’s not here to judge me. Quick, back to the blanket before he notices.

“No wonder it’s so nice,” I respond, smiling up at him. The hue of his blush deepens.

“Thanks. H-Hey look! There’s a good spot for us to sit under the trees!” An upward nod points me in the right direction. A small group of trees close to the bank. I remember seeing these trees back when myself and the others were younger. They’ve grown since then, they’re foliage allowing only so many rays of sunshine through to lightly speckle the cool grass hiding in their shade. It’s the perfect spot for a picnic. Perfect spot
for a first date. I’m blushing again. Dammit.

We quickly setup and unpack for our outdoor luncheon. Based on my memories of Kanji’s voracious appetite when we were kids, I’d imagine he’s starving by now. I’m curious as to what he’s prepared. Yes, Kanji cooked for us. At first I was surprised as well, but it’s probably for the best. Given the female cooking track record in our group, I don’t trust myself enough to prepare an entire lunch for a date. It could potentially render us unconscious and there are few worst mood killers for a date. (It’s getting easier to think “date” now. About time. I was getting tired of bubbling about it in my head).

Thankfully, Kanji is much more domestic than myself and was able to successfully prepare our lunch. And as he unpacks container after container, I’m beginning to see just how talented he has become. Rice balls, bento, noodles, salad, every morsel looks more delicious than the last. I can’t wait to try everything. He readies a plate for me and hands it over. A fresh, delectable smell wafts up to my nose. This is going to be good. I eat and eat and discover quickly that he is definitely the culinarily-gifted one between the two of us. Sure I can follow a recipe, but this tastes likes it made with love, not penchant for following directions to the letter and punctuation.

“This is amazing, Kanji-kun! How did you learn to make all this?” He responds to my query as classic Kanji; eyes averted, cheeks slightly pinked, fingers once again idly scratching the back of his head. Cute.

“Really? Glad you like it. My Ma thought it was important I learn to cook for myself and eventually…someone else”. He glances at me. I feel warm again.

“That’s very smart of her,” I compliment before taking a bite of my rice ball. “Mmm, the rice is cooked perfectly”
_____________________________________________
(((Kanji’s POV)))
Holy crap she likes my food. Holy CRAP she LIKES my FOOD! Look at her, smilin’ at me with those big blue eyes all sparkly from the sun. And all the while eating food that I made.

This date is going better than I hoped!
_____________________________________________
(((Naoto’s POV)))
“Oh good. I was worried it wouldn’t travel well on the bike. If you like it so much I’ll give you the recipe,” he offers. He must feel proud, as he should. Everything is wonderful. I can’t help but laugh though.

“Recipe? For me? That’ll be a fruitless venture, no pun intended”. I had to clarify. Unless it’s truly witty, I’m not the biggest fan of puns.

“What? I’m sure you can cook, Naoto. I mean, you cooked a long time ago for us, didn’t you? And unless I didn’t get a memo, everyone’s still alive. Give yourself a chance.”

“True I did make something back then, but that was following a recipe. This food tastes like a recipe couldn’t have been involved. Like you made it from pure emotion and caring”.

“Wow. You must really like it to say that,” Kanji’s eyebrows raise in amazement.

“I do. And trust me, last thing anyone wants is a repeat of the mystery food x or omelet fiascoes from the days of yore that I heard so much about. Poor senpai and their intestines. I’d be afraid to be ranked among the girls who created the monstrosities”.

“How do you figure that’d be what’d happen?” he asks between chews of salad.

“I don’t know. I’m just afraid that because I made one decent thing, anyone carefree enough to try it would be fooled by the guise of expectation. They’d think ‘oh, this must be good!’ and then, wham! Everything goes black”. I altered my voice and really got into that one. There’s a chance that he’s right and I may get lucky again, but statistics of our posse go against me.

Kanji grinned. “Nah, I’m sure whatever you made would be great”. He pauses, possibly to collect his thoughts or weigh the pros and cons of what followed. “How ‘bout next time I make this stuff, you come over and give me a hand? Food can’t go “x-ey” on ya if I’m there watchin’, right?”
This proposal actually makes sense. I feel strangely giddy. “Alright, sounds good to me!”
_____________________________________________
(((Kanji’s POV)))
Oh shit…did I just ask her out on a second date already? Can I even call it that? Maybe it’s just me asking her to hang out. But we’re on a date now, and usually asking the girl you’re on a date with to hang out again is asking her out on another date. And if that’s the case…she said yes! Somebody freakin’ pinch me!

But if it doesn’t count as a second date and really is just us hanging out, then that’s cool too, I guess. Long as she wants to keep seeing me, I don’t really care.

…

But what if it does count?! Holy crap!

Jeez I gotta calm down. Finish this date first, Kanji, then worry about the other stuff later.
_____________________________________________
(((Naoto’s POV)))
We spend the remainder of the meal updating each other on happenings in our lives. I told him about the college I had gone to after he left and about my first case on the job as an adult detective. Then he surprised me by informing me that he didn’t just go to any college when he left, but a fashion school to learn more in-depth about clothing design. He had kept it secret from everyone out of fear that he wouldn’t succeed and disappoint everyone but apparently he had impressed his mentors and had done very well in school, even securing a scholarship by presenting some of his work.

“I’ve got some designs in mind for a collection, but I haven’t gotten to ‘em much lately. Been helpin’ Ma like crazy lately,” he explains, setting aside a finally empty plate. (He had gotten second and third helpings. Some things really don’t change).

“Wow Kanji, I’m really proud of you,” I couldn’t help respond. “You’ve done so much these past few years”. My eyes drop a bit, along with my voice. “I’ve really been gone too long”.

I hear the thump of plastic being pushed aside and movement. Now Kanji’s right next to me.
“You were gone too long. Everybody’s missed you,” Kanji’s voice is soft and just a hair above sounding sad. I can feel my heartstrings being pulled ever so slightly. His hand is on mine. I face him. He’s blushing again, but those gray eyes of his are fixed on me. “I missed you. I missed you when I left. And I missed you harder when I heard you left Inaba to go to college too. I’ve probably missed you more than anyone. I thought about you every day, hoping to hear news that you were coming back. And when I finally did I…I…”
_____________________________________________
(((Kanji’s POV)))
Ah shit. That all just kinda spilled out didn’t it. But I’m passed the point of no-return. I’ve got her here with me, close too, with my hand on hers. Gotta just go for it now. Sometimes a man’s just gotta go all in. And this is my time. Deep breath. Here goes nothin’!

“I had to see you and I had to ask you on a date cuz,” another deep breath, “I couldn’t let you get away again. I didn’t want another second to go by without me tryin’ to be a man and tell ya how I feel”.

When the hell did I shut my eyes? And why am I doing it so hard? I’m like, really clenchin’ here. Like someone’s about to beam me in the head with a baseball or something. Gotta open ‘em. I gotta see that she’s still there; that she didn’t run yet. I mean, I still feel the softness of her hand in my rough hands. But she could’ve switched it out for a fake hand. She’s pretty slick and I’m sure being a full-fledged detective taught her a few tricks. She could’ve taken a class on how to switch body parts with falsies to escape bad guys. Was probably called “Gettin’ While the Gettin’s Good: Give ‘Em the Slip 101”.

C’mon man, quit foolin’ around and open your damn eyes!

She’s here. She’s still here. Looking up at me with those eyes like big saucers, waiting. Waiting for me to keep going. To tell her how I feel. This has been a long time coming, Kanji. Ignore the sweat near your hairline, the butterflies in your stomach and the lump in your throat tryin’ to choke you to death. Show Naoto you’ve grown a set and tell her!

“Truth is, I really liked you back in high school. A lot. The only grade A thing about me was my crush on you, if, ya know, that got a grade. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I was so freaked out by the thought of being rejected. So I waited. And waited. And before I knew it, we had gone our separate ways”.

Don’t you tear up, you bastard. Damn, going through the past hurts. I feel like my teenage self again, full of that teenage angst shit over the girl who got away. Gotta shake it off and keep going. She hasn’t bolted yet and I’ve got more to say before she does.

“And every day since I’ve regretted not saying anything. I wish I’d had the guts to tell you then instead of sittin’ on my ass about it. I let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers all because I was scared”.

Still here? Still listening, Naoto? Good. ‘Cuz here comes the finisher. Here comes everything from the bottom of my heart.

“After all those years we lost contact you’d think I woulda moved on. Dated around or something. But I couldn’t. You were always on my mind. Still are”.
She looks like a scared, frozen puppy. Maybe that was a little much at once. Dammit it probably was. Sonuva-!
_____________________________________________
(((Naoto’s POV)))
I couldn’t help it. I just…couldn’t. Can’t tell if it was his confession or the scenery or a combination of things but I just couldn’t fight the overwhelming desire to place my hand on Kanji’s cheek, sit up on my knees and kiss him. It wasn’t a slow, calculated move either. Everything went so quickly and felt desperate. Perhaps it was desperation.
After all this time, years spent apart, he still has feelings for me. The most genuine smile I’ve ever had spreads across my face as I sit back down on my heels. “I can’t begin to tell you how happy that makes me, Kanji”. Don’t cry. Don’t do it. It’s unnecessary and would worry him, even if it’s out of joy.

“I-I think I get it,” he stammers with a goofy grin, referring to the kiss no doubt.
“I was afraid you would’ve forgotten me. That I lost my chance to know what it’s like to be with a remarkable man”. My words are paired with my thumb running over his cheek. I’ve seen it done in movies and feeling him lean into my touch. I finally understand why they do it. He’s so cute.

I expect him to say something in response but, as per Kanji’s true comfortable style of communication, his actions speak volumes more than words. Calmly and without breaking the gaze we have, he scoops me up into his arms, sets me on his lap (careful to keep the hem of my dress down at a decent point) and pulls me into a kiss. A kiss so thrilling and delicious it makes me melt into him. We stayed this way for awhile, kissing on and off, giggling amongst ourselves, filled to the brim with happiness. So…romantic.
_____________________________________________
(((Kanji’s POV)))
Well, time to go for broke.

“Hey, Naoto?” I ask, face dropped in a combination of seriousness and worry. She looks up at me. Man, I’d give her the world if she looked at me and asked “please”. Good thing she’s not a super villain or nothin’.

“Kanji?”

Deep breath and…
“I know usually ya wait a few dates, but you know I ain’t that patient all things considered so…would you like to be my girlfriend?”

She smiles and kisses me again. Damn a guy can get used to this. Please say yes so I can be that guy. And so my heart can NOT be in my throat anymore.

“I think considering how many years in the making this moment is, we can skip of few of those dating rules”.

“Does that mean-?”

“Yes, Kanji. I’d love to be your girlfriend”.